I feel a transformation happening in my inner self. Lately, I’ve felt new urges to grow up and be a better provider, caretaker, and husband.

For instance, my 2009 Christmas list comprised of mostly of hand tools. There is no logic in this. I’m not an especially handy man. I don’t even work with my hands too often. However, I had been desiring the simple tools my Dad has—wrenches, screwdrivers, saws, squares, and a place to put them.

We just finished installing wood floors in our bedroom. I can’t wait to clean out the garage and make a work table. I want to build a dog house. I’d like to build a new desk for my office. Why would an Apple fanboy geek that works on websites and print work want to do this? I feel this is the result of doing what is called “Growing Up”.

I’ve been on a kick of being manly—whatever that means. Manliness is defined in different ways to different people. But I see my tastes changing—my clothes, my music, my home—everything. I believe it’s God preparing me for something bigger…

Change is life and change is good. Life is good.

My wife is back and I’m extremely happy about that fact. It’s been two months of loneliness (minus weekends), fixing food just for myself, sleeping on the couch 3-4 times a week, and copious internet time. My hope is we can start fresh and get our lives back on track. Enjoying each other, watching movies, praying and studying, trips to Springfield, eating together, and walks are all things I’m looking forward to.

I’m pondering putting together a proper portfolio site for the work I’ve done over the past few years. Working at a church, I’ve had the opportunity to be involved with a rebranding of the church, several branding projects for various ministries, and crap-tons of graphic design for everything imaginable. All that, and some pretty sweet websites, both in-house and for other projects.

You see, my bride has been off for the last month and a half during the week 45 miles away training for her new job at the social security office. This leaves me mostly alone on the weekdays. And that sucks.

That is all.

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I’m feeling kind of burned out for the week. Good thing it’s Friday! That means it’s time to go home, get some rest, catch some live music, and come back to work on Sunday.

Joshua Blankenship (who’s online exploits I’ve followed for a while now) just posted an excellent diagnosis for what I’m feeling right now. I suggest you go read that right now and avoid becoming like me.

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I’ve been feeling a little frustrated with myself this week. It seems since my vacation I’ve felt nothing but tired and unmotivated. This is not good in my field of work, SPREADING THE GOSPEL. I thought the vacation would help me to collect myself and charge up for a huge push to get things accomplished, but it’s had the reverse effect.

I’m reminded that Paul had to beat his own body into submission (1 Corinthians 9:27), so that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to force myself to get enough sleep, wake up on time, spend time in God’s presence, excercise regularly, and get stuff done.

Ever since I came back from Florida, I’ve felt like crap. I don’t know what kind of bug I picked up, but I know it’s not from Florida. She would never do that to me. I probably got it from the Atlanta airport, which was a pile of dookie.